They say: When a child is born, a mother is born as well. So true! This whole new world of being 100% responsible for a tiny human being’s survival and well being along with a roller coaster of hormones no one prepared us for. When I see myself in pictures from my child’s first month, I see a smile of a happy mother who hasn’t slept more than two hours in a row.
Becoming a mother in another country is even more challenging. I grew up in Brazil, surrounded by my family and all support a person can have. My two grandmothers were constantly there for us. The pediatrician’s phone number was on the nightstand by my mother’s bed.
When a woman gives birth in Brazil, it’s usually the obstetrician who is in charge. In Norway, it’s the mother and the midwife. Doctors are only called when there’s a problem and a caesarean is needed. Norwegians are experts in natural birth. Check my post about giving birth in Norway. Link here.
In Norway, the parents are fully in charge, which is awesome and scary. In the hospital, a nurse taught us how to bathe a newborn baby. We left the hospital with our baby and a dvd explaining how to cope with sleep deprivation. A week after, two nurses paid us a visit. They checked the baby’s health and gave some advice. Among them, to go for a walk with the baby in the stroller, from week 3. The whole structure is different from Brazil.
Adapting to a new culture is challenging. Adapting to a new lifestyle AND adapting to being a mother is way more challenging. This going-for-a-walk-every-day-with-the-baby thing was challenging at the beginning. Getting out of the house wasn’t as easy as before. Changing diapers, breastfeeding, putting baby to burp, changing diapers again, changing clothes, changing my clothes. I barely had time to brush my teeth. Not to mention making food. I really missed having someone cook for me. I come from Brazil and I wasn’t used to cooking every day. It took me much time to prepare a full healthy meal. Nowadays, few years later, I prepare delicious healthy meals in 20 minutes. I guess practice makes perfect.
The kindergarten rules and vocabulary. When the child goes to kindergarten, another bunch of new words and expressions need to be learned and understood. Winter jumpsuits, Spring jumpsuits, Winter shoes, Spring shoes, base layer, slippers, just to name a few. Check the whole kindergarten word book here.
The climate is different, Summer in Norway is way different from Summer in Brazil. What to wear? It’s warm but the wind is cold. We should check the weather forecast every day, because it does make a difference if it rains suddenly in the middle of our hiking tour. Wear appropriate clothes means not wear too many clothes in the Spring or Summer. If you wear Winter boots in the Summer, what are you wearing in the Winter?
The good side.
Norway is the best country to raise children, in my opinion. The freedom, security and independence children get here are priceless. Fresh air, clean tap water and kindness. Norwegian society is family friendly. The working hours match the kindergarten’s opening hours. Maternity leave can be eight months full paid or one year 80% of your salary. You can share the leave with the daddy so that you get back to work while he stays (and bonds) with the baby. I believe that contributes for gender equality and family harmony.
The difficult side.
A new culture. I had never heard of a baby sleeping in the stroller parked outdoors while mommy is inside the house. In the Winter. Well, that’s common in Norway.
Mothers aren’t considered fragile humans in Norway. So don’t expect people holding doors or giving their seats to moms holding babies.
Lack of safety net. Without grandmas and grandpas, cousins and childhood friends, being a mother in a foreign country can be lonely and scary. When the husband goes to work or is on a business trip, it’s all on the mother. Luckily, men here are usually good fathers and husbands. You see men pushing strollers, carrying toddlers at supermarkets, attending meetings at school, teaching their kids to swim, to ski, to ride a bike.
The language. It may be extra hard for foreign moms to understand Norwegian moms’ jokes, to feel integrated. I’m glad I worked hard and learned Norwegian before I got pregnant.
The awesomeness!
The day I really felt like Wonder Woman, like I rule as a Brazilian mother in Norway, was when I managed to do cross country skiing with a wagon attached to my waist, carrying my child inside it. Skiing itself is a huge challenge for me as I learned as an adult. And I love it! Being able to take her safely with me was heaven.
Once you adapt and enjoy the new life in Norway, as a mother, it’s wonderful.
My advice to moms that are new comers to Norway:
1.Learn the language and the culture
2.Be proactive and open
3.Be yourself and speak your mother tongue with your baby.
4.Relax. It’s going to be alright.
By the way, it’s Mother’s Day today in Norway. Happy Mother’s Day!
Share this post with a friend who lives abroad.
About giving birth without family, do other Brazilian women get help from their mothers? Do their mothers go to Norway in order to help them before and after the birth ?