What is it like to be a foreign woman in Norway? The good and bad side.

It’s International Women’s Day on March 8th, and I was curious to know what my other immigrant friends think and feel about being a woman in Norway in 2021.

I have asked women who come from North and South America, Europe and Asia what it is like to live in Norway. What is best? What do they miss? Is the famous Norwegian gender equality flawless?

Here are our thoughts, a little bit from our conversation.

Note: The discussion today is about those who had a comfortable life in their homeland before they moved to Norway; not refugees.

First, the GOOD SIDE of living in Norway that we all agreed on:

SAFETY. Criminality is low in Norway. Kids walk to school. We all enjoy to walk on the streets without having to look back to see if a thief is following us.

ORGANIZATION AND HONESTY. Norwegians are mainly obeyers, as of laws. There’s practically no corruption.

GENDER EQUALITY. This is a country with one of the highest rates of gender equality in the world. Girls and boys have equal access to education in Norway. Our prime minister is a woman. Many leaders and CEOs in Norway are women. Husband and wife split the household chores (men cook, take care of the kids, etc).

WOMEN AGE BETTER. Aging seems way more natural in Norway. It’s common to see Norwegian women with natural grey hair. And they look beautiful. Plastic surgery is not as usual as in our homeland. Instead of hiding the age, women have huge celebration when they turn 50.

NORWEGIAN LAW IS AGAINST DISCRIMINATION AND RACISM. Gay marriage is legal.

FOOD. Besides the fact that we appreciate salmon, cod fish and other Norwegian food like brown cheese, Norway has become more international. That means we can find our favorite food from abroad easily now than ten years ago.

WORKING HOURS. We start at work early (7:00-8:00 a.m.) but leave early too (3:00-4:00 p.m.). That means more time to spend with the children, to go to the gym, etc.

CONTACT WITH NATURE. Norwegian landscapes are breathtaking. Even on our daily life, there’s always a park or beach nearby.

Then the BAD SIDE:

HIGH COST OF LIVING. Renting an apartments in big cities like Oslo and Stavanger is expensive. Restaurants are expensive. Services are expensive. What happens in Norway is that you end up doing it all yourself. Norway is not Disneyland, it’s DIYland. There’s no gardener to fix your garden, no “calling the guy” to remove the snow from your doorway.

NO GENTLEMEN. Why should a man open the door for you? You are perfectly able to open the door yourself, aren’t you? Even if you are carrying a child, or heavy bags.

Don’t expect a gentleman(?) to help you UNLESS you ask him to.

We miss that kind of galenterie in Norway.

We have actually the opposite of that: In Norway, women paint the house, mow the lawn, carry heavy equipment.

JANTELOVEN. This unofficial law states that you are not better than anyone. You shouldn’t brag. Even nowadays, many parents feel ashamed of telling others how good their kids are at school, at sports, etc.

NOT SOLID GENDER EQUALITY AT WORK YET. Not all salaries are equal (for men and women) for equal jobs. Not all opinions are taken in consideration equally (sometimes, women can be less heard and considered too talkative while men go straight to the point and may get the credit for someone else’s idea).

THE WEATHER. Yes. Where to begin… It’s cold and it rains often, with wind. The sky is grey for a long time during the year. In the Winter, the lack of sunlight can trigger depression. Suicide rates in the Scandinavia are very high.

PREJUDICE AGAINST PSYCHOLOGY. In other countries like USA and Brasil, when you feel conflicted, you can go to therapy. In Norway, in order to go to therapy, you get into some kind of list, people-with-psychological-issues list. It’s like cancer in the 50’s. Nobody would mention the word.

THE LANGUAGE. Norwegian is not an easy language to learn (it’s actually two sublanguages: Nynorsk and Bokmål). Let alone the hundreds of dialects. There’s a lot you miss if you don’t speak the language, living here. Check my learning method here.

I guess the bottom line is:

I admire Norwegian women for everything they manage to get done (at home, work, personal life), for their courage, strength, achievements.

Living in Norway, I have become much more independent and skilled than ever before. You learn the Norwegian practicality and become able to make a healthy dinner in twenty minutes. It sucks not to be near our families, but with time, we meet good friends and build our safety net. We’ll always be missing something anywhere, anyway.

This is a wonderful country to live in. Just keep in mind that you will face challenges for being an immigrant just like anywhere else in the world. Safety, freedom and contact with nature are priceless.

Picture by Juliana Linares Øverland.

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