Living in another country as an immigrant is different from being there as a tourist. What at first can seem exciting may turn out challenging. Many immigrants feel vulnerable. It’s hard to fit in when you know nothing, have no history or roots from that place.
How can you feel at home in the new country?
I had some topics in my mind: Understand it. Be interested. Learn about the culture and the language. Be nice to yourself. Be patient. Be active.
At language school we had samfunnskunnskap classes. It was a course about how the Norwegian society is organized. It goes from how they handle trash and recycle until children’s rights. My class had people from many countries (Canada, Japan, Poland, Vietnam, U.K., USA, India, etc) The course was very interesting, enlightening and important for us newcomers. Let alone the opportunity to discuss what we felt was strange, beautiful, unfair, great, intriguing, bad. I called it for group therapy. Only we could understand each other’s feelings, how vulnerable and confused we were. Many were frustrated when trying to communicate with Norwegians. A classmate who has both asian and western blood, said: “You have to play an active role here in Norway. Don’t wait for things to happen”.
I started by asking myself: How did I feel at home in Rio de Janeiro? What made me so happy there? What can I do to also be happy here? I decided to take action and not wait for others to smile and take me by the hand. Here are some of the things I’ve done to make Norway my home:
Find a favorite Cafe. A cozy place to hang out with my new classmates was the first step. Wayne’s Coffee was full of immigrants, delicious smoothies and pies. We used to hang out there three times a week after classes. A couple of months later I heard from a latin friend who’s lived in Norway for more than fifteen years: “You have a favorite place already? I don’t have a favorite place yet.”
Make contact. Talk to people. Don’t be afraid. They don’t bite. Most people are very friendly and willing to help. They just don’t usually offer help. It’s a privacy thing. You have to say what you need. Then you get it. Believe me, it can be hard at first, but it gets easier. It’s a matter of training. To me it’s very important to have friends, both Norwegian and foreigners.
“Keep in mind that not only they are strangers to you, you are also very strange to them”. That was the wisest piece of advice I got from a friend before I left Brazil, almost seven years ago.
She was right. If you expect people from the new country to behave the same way as in your homeland, you’ll probably get disappointed and frustrated. A country’s culture is its identity. “If you want to understand a country’s culture, take a look at its geography and history”, said another good friend of mine. Norway has thousands of different dialects. Maybe it’s because people from the North didn’t visit often people from the South. Norway’s geography is full of fjords, which made traveling difficult before the modern cars, tunnels and roads were built. I think the cold weather also can play an important role. People from warm countries tend to be more talkative. See Brazil, Italy and Spain for example. You must spare energy in the cold winter.
The Language.
Trying to speak the local language is not an easy task for many people. My first year in Norway was dedicated to learn Norwegian. I attended a course and studied hard at home. I listened to the radio, watched the news and other Norwegian tv shows, did my homework. At the beginning, I felt very dum and slow. And I wasn’t as shy as most immigrants I know. I had worked as an English and Portuguese teacher, I understand Spanish, a little Italian and few words in Polish, and still I couldn’t crack the Norwegian code. It takes a while to be able to build sentences, think in the new language in normal speed. What really scared me was answering the phone. I still don’t like it, I prefer writing sms.
Find things in common
Finding things in common can help you feel at home. Some basic feelings are common to almost all human beings, like solidarity, being heard and appreciated. Human beings usually like to find things in common when they meet others for the first time. Knowing that the other person came from the same city or neighborhood, had the same teacher at school, cheers for the same football team, was born on the same day, buys their clothes at the same shop, etc. It builds a connection. They feel safe and cozy. Well, I’ve found something in common with almost every Norwegian: We love coffee! And many of them like to have company while drinking it. I love to sit together, drink coffee and listen to people’s stories. Those chats have helped me a lot to learn Norwegian. Then the learning process has become pure pleasure, not torture.
Another thing we Norwegians and Brazilians have in common is: cake. I remember siting at dinning room at my grandmother’s house. It was full of aunts, uncles, cousins. Everybody sitting, eating delicious cake. I decided to bake cakes here in Norway and invite friends over. Oh, what a delight to sit among friends and chat while eating cake. I’ve learned a few Norwegian recipes like Rabarbra cake.
Admiring nature. Norwegians are very good at going for a walk in the mountains, in the woods, in the snow. I love it.
It’s different and I like it!
With time, I’ve started to like the Norwegian culture. A lot. And I’ve incorporated some of the typical habits. For example, I talk less than before I moved here, and I realize I’ve been more serene, calm. I’ve found out that silence is good, not lack of ideas. It’s a pause you are allowed to take. Breath, be within yourself for a bit. I love it!
Being practical, direct and private. I think it’s wonderful to be able to say I can’t make it to an invitation without having to explain the reason. I feel my private life is respected. Norwegians tend to be committed and punctual. If you say your party starts at 8 p.m., the guests will arrive between 8 and 8:10 p.m.. You can rely on that and prepare dinner to be ready by then.
How to sum up? I believe that if you are interested and keen to take action, you’re going to cope very well with some cultural differences and love it here.
Very interesting !
Thanks 😊😘