I like people. I like to talk. I’ve always been like that. In Norway, I feel lucky because I get to hear many different stories in diverse opportunities. Some sentences stick in my head. It’s good to share them with you.
Cultural differences can really stand out sometimes. I like the Norwegian practicality and simplicity. They are direct and go straight to the point. They use much fewer words than Brazilians, for example.
I feel that most Norwegians are open and welcoming to foreigners and immigrants. They see integration and diversity as a positive aspect. The new generation of adults are used to traveling to Spain, Croatia, Albania, Portugal, France, Greece in the Summer.
These 4 women have my admiration. The rude old woman though, has my pity.
Let’s start by the wise words.
1.At the baby swimming pool. I was at the there with my toddler and I saw a little boy at the same swimming pool splashing around intensely. That was bothering my kid and other small ones. Then I heard the boy’s mom say in a clear and calm tone:
“You know what Morten (fictional name), not everybody likes to get water splashed on their face.” And the boy stopped. I wish I could be that succinct.
2.An sms. May 2021, as many Norwegians have begun to be vaccinated, I asked a Norwegian woman (older than me) if she had got her first dose.
“No, not yet. I am actually in a good situation, working from home. I’m sure there’s many people who need it more that me. I can wait.” These sentences explain the Norwegian sense of community. That’s what I admire Norwegians for. Hearing such sentences makes my day and reassures me of why I live here. (I know it’s not all the locals, but certainly the majority. )
3.At Summer holidays. The year was 2018. April, May and June were Sunny and dry. Then in July it began to rain. We were visiting friends in Sogn og Fjordane. Due to the rain, some guys began to complain. What a Summer! and so on. Then, one of the most positive and nice persons I know said:
“We’ve had a wonderful Summer until now. We can’t complain.” I loved it and I’ve been using her sentence since then. After all, positiveness and gratitude are contagious. Norwegians are used to seizing the day. As weather can be bad for a long time, when the sun is out, Norwegians are out. And they are grateful for each Sunny day.
4.At the ceremony to get the Norwegian citizenship. “You need Norway and Norway needs you.” That’s what the mayor of Klepp said to us. Plus that there are many possibilities do be happy in Stavanger region. What a remarkable speech she made that day. Having that in mind: we need Norway and Norway needs us. That is a balance of being grateful for living here and knowing our value and contribution to out new country. That was a self esteem booster.
Check my Instagram for an excerpt of this speech, plus daily posts and pictures. Click here.
5.At a girls’ night out. If you have been on a girl’s night out, you probably know that what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. What I can tell you, though, is that one of them said:
“I love my husband despite it all”. Tross alt, to be precise. Marriage, after a long time together, we all know that there are always small things that are irritating for both sides. If we can see the beauty and the awesome qualities your parter has and why you married him/her to begin with, then you love him despite it all. Laughing at the small irritating stuff is healthy.
obs. I don’t mean an abusive relationship, but a common healthy nice irritating and sometimes boring one.
Now the dumb sentence. This is a note for the Norwegians:
Please don’t use this sentence you’re about to read. Because it hurts. It’s discriminating. It’s excluding. It’s wrong.
1.At the store. It was my first Christmas in Norway. The weather had been terrible for weeks. I missed my family and Brazil. What to do? I tried to make a Christmas atmosphere, to make it cozy. I started early with Christmas decoration. I had bought matching Christmas pajamas for me and my husband. Then I went to a store to buy Xmas earrings. I say only a pair of snowman earrings and they seemed too small. I wasn’t sure if they would look good on me. Since they were the only pair, I wanted to try them on. (In Brazil, you are allowed to try earrings on. Once in Rio, a saleswoman took off her own earrings for me to try and see if I liked the style so that she could order a pair for me.) That said, I took one earring from the shelf and lifted it up towards my face. The second I lifted it up, I heard a strong voice:
“You can’t try them on.” -Oh, I said. Then how can I tell if they will fit?
Then came the discriminating sentence in a loud discriminating tone:
“In Norway, you’re not allowed to try on earrings. Because of bacteria.”
Maybe if I had heard it on the news, or said by a doctor, it wouldn’t hurt. But that woman was so rude speaking loudly in that tone to me, a customer. My reaction was to reply:
“Oh, you don’t brush your teeth after lunch, you leave your bags on the floor and you don’t wash your hands when you come to visit a friend, but earrings are dangerous. I’m not buying anything here.” and I left the shop.
Wanna know what happened to the shop and the woman? A couple of years later, the shop went bankrupt and closed.
That episode has hurt me so bad, I still can’t hear the sentence: Here in Norway we… Only this beginning makes me shiver and look away automatically. Because it means: you are not welcome here. It means do just like us or leave. Life is not black and white like this. Everyone likes tenderness, tolerance, empathy and welcoming from the locals. I lived most of my life in Brazil and I’ve never heard: Here in Brazil we… in such a tone. Never.
The bonus that saved me.
Cut to 2020, Summer holidays. I entered a stone shop to see beautiful stones. The earrings section was dazzling. I wanted to buy a pair. I was choosing between two pairs. As I was looking at them, the salesman, a young man visibly with immigrant background said to me:
“Would you like to try them on?”
In shock, I replied. “Can I?”. “Sure”, he said. Still in shock, I walked towards the mirror and put them on. It was way much easier to decide once I had them on. If you wear earrings you know what I mean. I bought a pair , thanked the man and smiled widely, and left the shop. My wish was to kiss him so grateful I was to be treated as a human being.
Have you ever been discriminated abroad? Or in your own country?
What are the nice sentences you’ve heard abroad?
I’d love to read your sentences: favorite and not liked ones. Feel free to write here in comments or send me a message on Instagram.