I got this question from a Norwegian mother. I was at a family event, downtown in Stavanger, with my husband and our daughter. We met a mother whose child goes to same school as our child. As we stood in an-hour queue for face painting, we had time to chat. She was surprised to know I’m a blogger and motivational speaker, that I’ve written the book “How to avoid Winter depression” and created an online Norwegian course for Portuguese native speakers. She looked both curious and fascinated. I felt like I was being interviewed by an engaged journalist. Another mom came and interrupted her questions. The second the other mom left, she came with this blogg title question: What are the three biggest cultural differences between Brazil and Norway?
Coping with cultural differences is appointed at many researches as one of the toughest challenges for immigrants. Most of us want so badly to fit in that we end up losing ourselves. Yes, the language plays a big role in this. Have you ever heard that we don’t quite sound ourselves when speaking another language? Try to tell a joke in another language. Is it as funny as in your mother tongue? Probably not. I say to people that I am funnier in English, cutter in Portuguese and more careful in Norwegian.
So here are the three most crucial cultural differences between Brazilians and Norwegians. At the end, I’d love to read your comment on your native culture compared to the one you live in right now.
Punctuality. When a Brazilian invites you to dinner at 7 p.m., if you show up punctually, you’ll catch the host in a robe, with a towel wrapped around her wet hair, coming from the shower. A Brazilian host knows that no one would come at 7:00. That’s why she said 7:00, so that guests would arrive by 7:45, 8:00ish. She has it all figured out. Of course work meetings are punctual in Brazil. I mean Brazilians are fashionably late socially.
Now, a Norwegian host invites you to dinner at 7.00. That means the fish will be cooked and served at 7:10. At 7:00 the door bell will ring and five couples will be standing outside smiling, holding flowers or a wine bottle.
The possible reason for such a gap between both cultures might lie on the fact that in Brazil, we either order food or have help. Specially in the past generations, it was common among middle class, to hire a waiter or to have someone cook for you, or even pick up the food at a catering or restaurant. In Norway, we make the food ourselves, usually from scratch. We need to plan ahead and be organized or guests will eat cold food.
Practicality. Norwegians go straight to the point. Ja eller nei (yes or no). Let me tell you a coffee story that happened to my Brazilian friend here in Stavanger. She was at a Norwegian colleague’s house. The host asked if she’d like somme coffee. (In Brazil, says the good manners’ manual that guests don’t behave too straight forward. They’d say, I don’t want to give you any trouble. You don’t need to take the trouble to make coffee for me). Guess what? She said exactly what she’d say in Brazil. The host left and did’t make coffee. She took it as a no and moved on. No coffee then. And my friend really loves coffee. That’s when she understood this huge cultural difference. Norwegians aren’t used to something in the middle. Who can blame them? It’s freezing, I’m alone in the kitchen, no time to lose. Do yo want coffee or not? I’d never ask if I wasn’t willing to make it. Right?
A possible reason may be French and Portuguese cultures’ influence in the 17th and 18th centuries in Brazil. It’s impolite to say “I’m hungry” or “I’m full”. Instead, you should say: “Yes, please. I could eat something if it’s not any trouble.” or “No, thank you. I’m satisfied”.
To make things more complicated, when it comes to workplace, contradiction seems to show up in both cultures. In Brazil, top down management makes employees afraid of losing their jobs. They are less willing to say no than Norwegians. “Can you make this report ready by five o’clock today?” The answer will most likely be: “Sure.” And the person comes up with an excuse later for not doing it. In Norway, if the task can’t be accomplished at the given time, the employee will simply say: “I’m sorry, I can’t make it by five, but I can deliver it at your desk tomorrow by ten.”
Brazilian bosses are more direct in giving orders while Norwegian system is more horizontal. The order from a Norwegian boss seems like a suggestion or a question. The firs time I experienced that was when I worked at a kindergarten. My boss said to me: Har du lyst til å ta oppvasken? The interpretation would be: Do you feel like doing the dishes? “Nei. Jeg tenkte å skjære frukt først.” I said: No, I thought of cutting fruit first. Then she repeated the sentence: Har du lyst til å ta oppvasken? Only then it occurred to me it was an order, a command. “Would you like to do that?” in Norway means “Can you do that, please?” No, you can’t take your knowledge of Norwegian for granted. And no, they don’t teach it at language schools. I’m glad to teach it to my students, though.
Spontaneity. This is a huuuuge gap between Brazilians and Norwegians. For example: You’re watching your child and other kids play music. At a park. We parents are all standing and we’re clapping between songs. Suddenly, they start to play YMCA. What do you do? a) Follow the beat with your head a little bit. Don’t move another muscle in your body. b) Sing along, dance and of course you do the YMCA with your arms. If you answered a, you’re to be Norwegian. If you answered b, your Latina wrapped in whichever country shape you were born in. Just accept it with joy: Latin runs blood in your veins. I was fooled once when my Norwegian colleagues said they were going to town to dance. Naively enough, I joined them. We met at 07.30 p.m. at a snooker place with a bar on the ground floor. After 2 hours, they decided to go to another bar, one with dance floor. Finally, it’s time to dance, I thought. They entered the bar, I followed them with enthusiasm. The music was really good. To my surprise, they bought drinks and sat by a table. All of them. Right form the street to the chairs. There. To their safe place. Sitting and drinking more. I tried to encourage them by being the first on the dance floor. After tem minutes dancing all by myself, I closed the smile that was giving me facial muscle pain and gave up. It was 2 p.m. and I went home. I really don’t know why and if you are a Norwegian, I’d love to have your input on this. My impression is that Norwegians take themselves too seriously. They’re terrified of making a fool out of themselves. They need an impressive amount of drinks to feel comfortable enough to risk their reputation by dancing not so well in front of others. I’d be concerned about my reputation and making a fool of myself if I had to be drunk every time I went out with my friends. Another example. Let’s g back to dinner. At a Norwegian home, you’ll be sitting all evening by dinner table. At a Brazilian home, guests will circulate more. They stay sited only while eating dinner. Probably the host will play music and guests may dance or not, but they’ll definitely go to the sofa or the terrace.
So, cultural differences can be funny, scary and stressful. It depends on how good your selfesteem is and how well prepared you are for them.
If you are planning to move to Norway I’d like you to know that there are easier ways to get used and to understand the Norwegian society. One of the best ways is to get advice and guidance from another immigrant who’s been there, done that and learned so much that they would share it with newcomers. Yep: that’s me. I’m a mentor for immigrants and I’d love to help you plan and do the best adaptation in Norway. For more information, please check my work with me page.
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